Relationship Information Online

In the initial stages of a romance everything is exciting and full of expectation. The furthest thing from your mind is the thought that you could be heading into an abusive relationship with your new boyfriend. Unfortunately, abusive partners don’t come with warning signs tattooed on their foreheads!

There may be little things that creep into your relationship, the odd little controlling behavior here and there, that you’ll probably tend to overlook or ignore. Why? Because you believe, at last, you’ve found the man of your dreams!…but, in fact, he could turn out to be your nightmare!!

However, there are tell-tale indicators of possible abusive behaviors that you need to watch out for in new relationships. If you start to get the feeling that something is just not quite right when you’re with your boyfriend, and your romance is beginning to be “uncomfortable”, for want of a better word, the following relationship advice may be helpful.

7 Signs Of Abusive Behavior In Relationships.

(a.k.a. “red alerts!”)

There are many forms of abusive behavior. The list below just highlights some of the more obvious ways some men use to try to control and dominate relationships with their girlfriends. And, they are in no particular order of severity, they are all equally as bad!

1. Your boyfriend starts making all the decisions about the things you do as a couple. He never asks your opinion, nor gives you the opportunity to make a choice. In other words, if he decides where you go and what you do, then you have a definite problem. The guy’s a control freak!

While some women may be attracted to men who take charge, it’s an unhealthy relationship if you’re never given the chance to have a say in what goes on. You’re really setting yourself up for huge problems later in your relationship if you allow this controlling behavior to continue.

2. Your guy doesn’t value your opinion. All dating relationships should be about equality and compromise. If it seems that you never have anything of value to offer at the beginning of the relationship, why should things change down the road? If you are going to want to have opinions in your relationship, you need to establish your right to them up front.

3. He openly criticizes or belittles you when you’re with family and friends. Even worse still, your boyfriend also does it in public! Verbal abuse can escalate to physical abuse down the track. Don’t let him get away with putting you down about things you say or how you look.

This outwardly domineering behavior is nothing more than bullying. It’s not only totally uncool, but completely unacceptable in a relationship that’s supposed to be loving!

4. If your man is “rough” during intimate moments, such as love-making, and he forces you do things you don’t want to do, this could be a signal of trouble. It’s essential that you establish right from the outset of your relationship that there are ways you expect to be loved and treated. If your boyfriend won’t respect your wishes, let your feet do your talking! Get out of the relationship post haste!

5. Your guy tries to isolate or alienate you from your family and circle of friends. If he wants to monopolize your time and expects or demands that you have to be with him exclusively, that definitely is a danger sign. You need to have a life separate from him, and if this is something he can’t handle, it’s an indication that you’re relationship is unhealthy.

6. Flirting. If he openly plays up with other women when you’re out in public, then suggests that you’re just being jealous when you challenge his behavior, your dating relationship could be in trouble. Don’t let him try to justify his inappropriate behavior by ‘turning the tables’ and accusing you of doing something wrong.

If he acts like this in public, you can only ‘go figure’ what he might be getting up to when you’re not around!

7. Your boyfriend loses his cool quickly, especially over small matters. Does he over-react when things don’t go the way he wants them to and ‘makes a mountain out of a mole hill’? You can only expect things to get worse. So, if he has an explosive temper, this could spell “t-r-o-u-b-l-e”, even physical danger for you if you cross him in any way.

Are there any signs of an abusive relationship developing between you and the man in your life?

Of course, you don’t want to appear to be paranoid and start questioning every little thing your boyfriend might do in the early stages of your relationship. However, being aware of what can happen, and having a healthy sense of what could become a dangerous situation, is a smart woman’s way of handling her love-life and her world in general. Be smart, be savvy…be safe!

(N.B. Relationship abuse can very often escalate into serious physical danger. It should never be tolerated in any shape or form. If you’re a victim, get out of the situation as quickly as possible and seek help and advice from family, trusted friends or professional services.)

Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships Information and Assistance:

Australia:

Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria & Australia

An Abusive Relationship Information & Help at Reachout.com.au

Canada:

Battered Women’s Support Services (Canada) Crisis & Intake:604.687.1867 Business:604.687.1868

Shelternet is Canada’s first and only national online resource and support network for abused women and their children.

U.K.:

Women’s Aid.org.uk (U.K.) PO Box Bristol 391, BS99 7WS | Tel.: 0117 944 4411 | Fax: 0117 924 1703 Email: info@womensaid.org.uk | Helpline: helpline@womensaid.org.uk

End Violence Against Women.org.uk (U.K.)

United States:

# A direct link to Warning Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships at HelpGuide.org

# National Domestic Violence Hotline.com or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224

International:

International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies

Say NO to Violence Against Women (International)

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