Guys, I’m sure that most of you realize that dating a woman with kids presents a whole range of unique challenges. In most relationships between a man and a woman the major concerns are really only about how the two of you get along. But, when you’re dating a single mom, the dynamics of the whole relationship change. It’s now you, her AND the children!
While many men shy away from dating a woman with children because they believe that the difficulties involved in dealing with the kids will be just too much, especially when they’re trying to establish a new romantic relationship with the mother, there are guys who are prepared for the challenge.
Love knows no boundaries! And men, who have fallen for a woman who has children from a previous relationship or marriage, know that they have to accept and work through all the problems and issues such a relationship will undoubtedly throw up.
So, if you’re thinking about dating a woman with kids, what are some of the challenges involved?
# First of all, you should know that it is harder for single moms to find dates than it is for women without children. This means that a single mom may be more approachable and eager to date you, but that doesn’t mean that she’ll have lots of time for you though.
Dating a woman with kids means that you compete for her time, and her kids will almost always come first. A single mom will probably be working full or, at least part-time, perhaps going to little league practice or ballet lessons and a myriad of other things that are part and parcel of being a parent. Where she fits you into the picture may be limited.
# You will have to decide together when to get to know her kids. Your date knows it’s bad parenting to bring a succession of men into her kids’ lives. So, despite the fact that her kids are the most important thing in the world to her, you may find yourself being excluded from this realm for quite some time.
When you do meet the children, you have to decide how you will relate to them. They’re not your children, but you will want them on your side. While younger children are easier to impress – just toss a ball or draw with them – older kids have their own activities and agendas!
Most children wish that their mom and dad would get back together again and they’re likely to see you as a threat to this fantasy. In almost all cases, there is at least some initial resistance to having you in their mom’s life.
# You will most probably have the problem of establishing authority when you are dating a woman with kids. When you give an instruction to a child, they’re likely to say “you’re not my dad.” Think through your response to this challenge carefully, and ahead of time, as it may set the tone for the rest of your relationship with the child.
# Another problem with dating a woman with children is that it can get quite expensive. After you have settled into a relationship and you know her kids, dates often become “family” outings. Instead of going for pizza and beer with your girlfriend, you are likely to end up at ‘Chuck E. Cheese’s’ with the kids in tow. Forget going to an amusement park unless the kids get to come along.
# Intimate physical relations can become tricky when you are dating a woman with kids. Some women are reluctant to bring you home for an overnight because of the possibly negative message that will send to the kids. She is also not likely to want to come over to your place because that involves finding someone to watch the kids.
If she does allow you into her bedroom, you may well be interrupted by children at a key moment. Be prepared for children to invade every aspect of your life.
One final note, if you do get involved with a woman’s children, and subsequently break up with her, you will almost always lose your relationship with the kids. In this case, you may suffer from double heartbreak!
To sum up, this is not to say that you should, at all costs, avoid dating a woman with kids. Instead, be well aware of the challenges and problems it can present, and weigh up whether or not this is the type of relationship that could work for you.