When it comes to finding happiness in your marriage, it shouldn’t be a chore! And, it’s not something that requires deep psychological analysis. Yet, many couples seem to think that real, long-lasting happiness in marriage is something that only happens in movies. Wrong!
What you see on the screen isn’t real, they’re actors following a script! And, even what appears to be the most perfect marriage will have some hiccups now and then.
It’s a fact that, when it comes to life, nothing is perfect, but that’s O.K.! People have their faults and bad days, and everyone should be allowed to make mistakes.
So, if you’re having a tough time finding happiness in your marriage, realize that you can improve how you and your partner feel. You know that you’re in love with each other, then it’s worth working towards achieving a married life that’s as happy as it can possibly be.
How To Build Happiness In Your Marriage
1. Step outside yourself. It’s a good idea to consider what it’s like to walk a mile in your partner’s shoes. If you run into a conflict or disagreement, instead of concentrating solely on how you’re feeling, consider your partner’s feelings first.
2. Pick your battles. Sometimes fights in marital situations are inevitable because you’re two different human beings with two sets of opinions. Determine whether your feelings are truly worth fighting for, or if you can reach a compromise. Perhaps you’ve gotten into a petty little fight about something that’s really unimportant. Learn from that mistake and try to avoid that unhappiness in the future.
3. Learn how to argue the right way. Avoiding disagreements with your partner entirely, can very often lead to unhealthy consequences. For example, either you or your spouse (sometimes both) may repress certain angers and frustrations, with neither of you getting what you need out of the relationship.
Learning how to express your feelings of discontent with your partner’s actions or behavior, without getting into an all-out yelling match, or worse, is vitally important for the health of your marriage.
3 Helpful Hints To Avoid Heated Arguments:
* When you disagree, avoid saying personally hurtful things simply to win points!
* If things are getting out of control, take a break for a while and come back to the conversation when your emotions aren’t running as high. Take time to cool off!
* Use phrases such as “I get upset when you do this…” instead of lashing out with name-calling or accusing your partner of always doing the wrong thing.
4. Spend time away from your spouse. While this might sound counter-intuitive, time alone is an important part of any marriage. Of course, you enjoy your time together, but you also need to explore who you are as an individual. Allow each other time to spend with friends and take time for yourself to enjoy activities that you like doing.
5. Work on your communication skills. While there are some married couples that communicate well, naturally, others won’t. If you feel that you’re not connecting effectively with your partner, make an effort to improve this aspect of your relationship.
Make time every day, if possible, to really converse with your partner. Talk about your feelings and issues that are important to you, instead of simply turning on the TV!
6. Take your spouse out on a date! Just like you used to when you first met. Relationships can get stale and become boring because people are given the opportunity to grow apart. Plan your “married dates” and make them special.
7. Learn how to listen. While this tip could very easily be lumped with point #5 (Communication Skills), the art of being a good listener perhaps deserves special emphasis.
A spouse always has to deal with a lot of venting. This is because you and your partner are likely to be best friends and you should be there for each other in good, as well as bad times. If your partner has had a bad day, be there to listen to him or her.
Simply knowing how to really listen to what each other is saying will improve your overall communication.
Finding happiness in your marriage doesn’t have to be difficult. Incorporate these seven practical tips into your relationship and enjoy the benefits of a marriage that grows stronger as the years go by.
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