The Date Before the Date
When you think about it, the conventional idea that the relationship of a date starts when you pick up your girl for that first night on the town is a bit flawed. If you have not started building the relationship and finding out important information about her before then, you have lost a lot of good opportunities.
Except for those rare dates that you meet the girl the night you pick her up, most of us date girls we more or less already know. And it is during that early flirtation that you can do some spying and find out if an actual date is possible and if it will be all you want it to be when you are alone together.
The act of courtship actually gets underway as soon as you meet a girl. If you handle these early exchanges well, you can lay the groundwork to date her before she even knows it. But you know it in your mind and because of that you give yourself hours of relationship building time. And that investment will come back to you later when you begin to date that adorable girl.
Most of the time when you set your sights on a girl with the hopes of getting that first date, it is in a shared social setting such as school, work or a group you both share. Often you both already know people so the transition from strangers to acquaintances is relaxed and natural. That is the perfect way to begin to chart a course from acquaintances to lovers by laying the groundwork for that first date.
Too often we have a bad first date and most of the time, unless it because of some accident or something, it’s because something comes out that you or she didn’t expect that dooms the date. So in the relaxed setting before the date, you can ask a few questions (and answer a few) to get those basics out in the open early on. Then you can be more assured that when the date starts, a “date killer” wont surface that can lead to a very long and unpleasant evening.
Obviously one of the things you will skillfully ask about as you build up toward the first date is whether she is even eligible for dating. So finding out about her dating status and any other issues that may block a future social outing with you can save you that unpleasant experience of asking a great girl on a date and getting turned down.
This “friendship” stage is also a good time to find out some general information that would have a big impact on the success of a date and the hopes for a relationship. Differences between you and her in religion, politics or racial or cultural bias issues can be easily flushed out in a casual discussion which can help you make a decision about whether to ask her out and what kinds of thing would qualify as a good date experience for the girl you have your eye on.
And this early time of casual friendship and getting to know each other can be just as exciting as the date if you start to feel she likes you and that she wants to go out with you as much as you want to take her out. And if the interest is high and the flirtation strong when you go out on that first date, you and she have a good chance of a bright future of lots of fun and romantic dates and maybe a romance that will go all the way.
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