Overcoming Jealousy – Tips to Make Your Relationship Better
If the man you love has other women in his life, as pals or even an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend, you may find yourself feeling jealous and angry about his relationships with them. You aren’t alone. Many women are faced with this same challenge in their relationships.
There are all kinds of instances when we can feel jealousy. Perhaps you are at the bar and you see your boyfriend talking to another woman. Or maybe your date is openly staring at a beautiful girl across the room. Maybe he even cheated on you and you found out.
No two ways about it, jealousy sucks. It makes you feel all kinds of hurtful emotions – anger, guilt, fear, hurt, disgust – you name it. And that happened whether or not your jealousy is reasonable.
There are basically 2 kinds of jealousy. Jealousy that is reasonable and founded is an actual event is one kind. The other kind of jealousy is groundless – this is like if you get upset that he ran into his ex-wife at the grocery store or he casually mentions something that happened with an old flame years ago.
The reasonable kind of jealousy – for you – is a sign that something is not right in your relationship. When you feel jealousy over him cheating on you – that is of course completely normal. But what it is screaming at you is that you have something HUGE in your relationship that you and your beau need to work on with each other. If he won’t work on it WITH you – then you need to walk away.
Essentially what those feelings mean is that you are ANGRY that he is not treating you right. His treatment of you and your own self integrity are at war with each other. And if he is treating you in a way that makes your own integrity have to compete with something else – then he is NOT good enough for you.
The imaginary situation or past occurrence is what leads to the second type of jealousy. Let’s say you are jealous because your man ran into his old girlfriend at the mall the other day. Everyone has a past. Everyone had relationships with someone other than you at some point in their life. That is no cause for a negative reaction on your part, and will only hurt your relationship and show him that he cannot trust YOU when he tells you things.
In cases like this, your emotions are sending up a signal to your brain that all is not well within you. These are signs of emotional insecurity and fear. This is when you need to stop what you are doing and take a look inside to see what the true root of this jealousy is. Perhaps you have been hurt before and are acting defensively, or perhaps you are afraid of the unknown.
There is also a jealousy about things that have not even HAPPENED yet. This is also an emotion founded in fear and insecurity. This happens when you see your man having a conversation or something with another woman and you instantly get jealous, imagining all sorts of wrongs. When this happens to you, you need to reach down deep again and dig out exactly what it is that you are afraid of.
There are cases where jealousy is justifiable and valid and cases where it is not. In each case, you must get to the root of the problem, as jealousy is a symptom of a deeper hurt that must be healed in order for the relationship to evolve.
About the Author:
Rori Raye Can Help YOU Have The Relationship You Want – Click Here Now for Free Tools!
