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Can I save my marriage after an affair? Many wives and husbands ask themselves this question when either they have strayed from their wedding vows, or their partner has been unfaithful.

Do you head straight to a divorce lawyer or do you make a real effort to reconcile your marital problems? How do you deal with these conflicting emotions? And, is there any hope to saving a marriage when cheating happens?

photo credit: Daquella manera

Quite obviously, there are very few marital issues that cause as much heartache and devastation as infidelity. Financial concerns, disagreements about how to raise the children and other normal, day-to-day problems can place a strain on any relationship. However, because of the deep sense of betrayal and the undermining of trust between husband and wife, an extra-marital affair can rock the very foundations of a marriage.

You also need to define what an affair is to you. For instance, most people would consider a sustained physically sexual relationship to be an affair while others would consider a one night stand to have violated the marital vows. And, there are people who consider feeling sexually drawn to another person, without any physical activity, to be adulterous!

If there has been a single instance of straying, there is a good chance of reconciliation, but multiple incidences of infidelity make it much more difficult for a marriage to be sustained.

Is divorce the only and ultimate resolution to cheating in a marriage?

Is there any hope to saving the relationship once a partner has been unfaithful? Well, maybe you can, provided of course that putting together the pieces of a broken marriage is what you really want.

Steps To Healing A Marriage After An Affair.

There are 3 key steps to repairing a marriage in the aftermath of cheating:

* Counseling or Getting Support.

You can seek the help of a professional therapist or go to family members, close friends or your church or whatever religious or spirtual group you belong to for guidance. What ever you do, don’t try to go it alone. Get support and try to come to terms with the realities of the situation.

* Healing Time.

Attempting to fix the marital problem right away after it’s happened is probably not a wise move. You need to give yourself and your spouse some time and space. There is a lot of emotional stress placed on a relationship at this time. By taking an emotional “time out” you give yourselves time to regroup.

Don’t delve into the intimate details of the affair with your partner right away. Postpone these discussions until you can talk without being accusatory or destructive. It may even be a good idea to air out your feelings with someone who is a good listener before you can have a constructive conversation with your spouse.

* Be Willing To Fix The Problem.

This may sound a bit odd, but you and your partner need to be on the same page, that is, you both share a mutual goal of rebuilding your marriage. This is essential if you want to recover from infidelity with a stronger and more honest relationship than you had before.

So, if you’re wondering “is there hope to save a marriage after infidelity?”, the answer is, “Yes” there is, but provided you handle things after the revelation of the affair correctly.

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• How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage (counselingonlinesite.com)
• Protector of the institution of marriage, Senator John Ensign (R-NV), admits an affair with campaign staffer (americablog.com)
• Marriage Counseling: Fix Your Marriage (counselingonlinesite.com)

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