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Your girlfriend or boyfriend has told you they want the relationship to finish. It’s not what you want, your romance with him or her is precious to you. It certainly is a gut-wrenching feeling knowing the person you’re in love with no longer wishes to be involved with you!

Surviving a breakup like this seems impossible, especially if you didn’t really want the relationship to end. What can you do?

There are a number of things you can try, however, let’s look at a few suggestions, in particular, three important tips on surviving a breakup of your romantic relationship.

Firstly, let yourself be sad! It’s natural to not want to feel unhappy as none of us likes to be upset or depressed. But, when a relationship comes to an end, no matter who ends it, you’re losing a part of your life.

Looking on the brighter side, if you’ve only been dating your girlfriend or boyfriend for a short time, that “sad period” most likely won’t last all that long. But, if you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you might find that your feelings of sadness and loss may go on for quite a while.

However, it’s important, though as painful as it may be, to allow yourself to feel that way. Most people try to avoid these feelings and try to move on to something or someone that helps them feel better. But being unhappy and having feelings of helplessness and loneliness are necessary steps in the healing process.

Allowing yourself feel bad will enable you to deal with the emotions and the pain. Remember, surviving a breakup is more than just moving on. If you can deal with the sad feelings, you’ll be better to able to experience the good feelings that come when you’ve eventually moved on.

Secondly, keep busy! You know you have to deal with the upset and not deny it or push it into the background. Yet, that doesn’t mean you can or should let yourself wallow in it and become all morose and weepy. If you feel like spending the entire day in bed crying, it’s O.K. to do that. But, the next day, even if you feel the same way, make every effort to force yourself do something else.

Let yourself feel bad for a while, then find an activity to help distract you. Even if it’s only watching a movie, at least you’ll be able to concentrate for brief periods of time on something else other than coping with your relationship breakup.

You must realize however, that no matter how “busy” your activity might be, unpleasant thoughts and memories will still creep in. Even if you’re solving a puzzle and concentrating hard to distract yourself, every now and then, a memory will pop up and your mind will be back on the breakup; it’s only natural for this to happen.

You just have to deal with your emotions, no matter how bad they make you feel, and not let them sidetrack you. Shed some tears for a bit if you need to, but soon the sad thoughts and feelings will pop up less and less often when you’re doing other things. (This goes for guys as well! )

Thirdly, make up your mind that you’ll forgive your ex. This might sound strange, but surviving a breakup isn’t only about exiting one relationship and moving on to the next! You need to resolve things in the old relationship to help you be more emotionally healthy in future relationships.

If you were hurt during the breakup, forgive your ex for his or her part and take some responsibility for the relationship ending. Even though this might be really hard to do, start by realizing that it does take ‘two to tango’, and that surviving a breakup is more important than having someone to blame for it.

Harboring feelings of pain, resentment and anger can only make you a bitter person. And, that’s something you don’t want!

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