Top 10 Things Every Couple Should Discuss Before “Tying the Knot”.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. It is entered into soberly and with a great deal of thought and mutual understanding. Thus, couples who consider marriage need to discuss a broad range of issues that may affect them the rest of their lives.
To this end, here are the top 10 things every couple should discuss before “tying the knot”.
* Children: Each person should ask the other how they feel about having children, and if in fact, they want children. If so, at what age does the couple feel would be the right time to have children?
* Money: Prenuptial agreements seem to be the “in” thing today especially since most women are earning higher salaries. A discussion of whether or not there should be a prenuptial agreement should be on the list.
* Finances: A discussion should be raised as to who will handle the bills, will there be a joint account, or separate account and who will handle insurance and investments. Since both individuals may bring into their marriage a sizeable amount of money, how will it be controlled?
* Faith: If the bride-to-be is of one faith, and the groom-to-be is of another faith, there needs to be a discussion on whether one will convert to the other and who will officiate over the ceremony if they choose to stay within their own faith. A decision should be made as to what faith future children will follow.
* Sex: While pre-marital sex tends not to be an issue with some people, the couple may wish to decide to wait until they are married.
* In-Laws: For some couples, the subject of in-laws can be a delicate matter. Early on, couples should decide which side of the family they will spend the holidays with. An easy compromise is to alternate each holiday between in-laws.
* Values: This aspect of a person encompasses many factors. Perhaps each individual has come to know their intended quite well. There may have already been signs and discussion relating to what one values the most, or how one has lived his or her life up until now. Spending time with each other allows each to assess the other’s values such as: family, commitment, friendship, commitment, honor, integrity, and honesty.
* Where to Live: While it may be necessary to live in an apartment in the beginning and, depending on each person’s financial status, a discussion and a financial plan should be put together so that each person can help in preparing for the future purchase of a home.
* Family: It is important to know from the outset what type of relationship each intended spouse has with their family. The old adage is true; when you marry someone you also marry their family. Therefore, efforts should be made to meet individual family members and ascertain how well each intended spouse will assimilate into each other’s family.
* Future Plans: Young men and women never think about the future and what could happen if one becomes ill or incapacitated. It is important to discuss Wills, especially Living Wills; who will raise the children in the event something happens to them, and if one is seriously injured, what does each person want to happen. For example, will a Do Not Resuscitate order be enforced, and if authorized, donation of organs implemented?
As you can see, there are many things couples need to discuss before “tying the knot”. Of course, there will be other considerations that require some sort of settlement prior to marriage. But, if the above aspects are discussed, at the very least, a couple will begin to establish a solid foundation for their marriage and subsequent family-life.
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