Ever wonder why he works so hard to get into a relationship with you, only to suddenly run away with his tail between his legs when you try to talk to him about commitment? It happens to a lot of women – their men are either too immature, unavailable, or simply unprepared for a relationship. Which is weird, since they worked so hard to be your boyfriend in the first place, right?
Actually, men don’t see the issue of commitment the same way as women do. Women consider the element of time – some women feel that men should be ready to commit after they’ve shared a few great weeks in their relationship. Others think that they should begin talking about the long-term after a few months. Heck, a man should be ready to settle down and have a family after you’ve gone steady for a few years, right?
Well, men don’t see it that way – the factor of time doesn’t matter to them. In fact, what he says and shows about the issue of commitment doesn’t affect how he feels about settling down. It’s like a dormant emotion in his psyche that only wakes up when he knows and feels in his gut that it’s the right time to settle down and discuss the long-term with you.
Unfortunately, the reflex of withdrawing (“running away”) from you is also a dormant emotion, triggered when you discuss, complain about, or try to convince him about settling down together for the long-term. When women get impatient and give their men “ultimatums” about their future together, it’s a sure way of shooting themselves in the foot.
Think about it. Do men really commit to you simply because you asked them to?
Of course they do – but only in an ideal world.
The fact of the matter is that men will only commit to you when he knows that you really are the one they’d like to spend the rest of their lives with. And only they can convince themselves of the fact. Trust me, you can’t. And you shouldn’t, if you don’t want him to change his mind!
So what can you do to keep him from withdrawing, while at the same time keep yourself from reaching your wits’ end waiting?
The best way is to develop a trait that so many people these days don’t believe in. It’s honesty.
By that, it doesn’t mean that you should just go right ahead and lay out all your cards for him. Before that, you’ll have to be honest with yourself. Who are you, and what do you want?
Being completely honest with yourself will let you present yourself to the world as you are – without the masks and pretensions. It’ll also make it easier to sort out the better men from the jerks. Men who are more open to commitment are also more appreciative of women who can be honest with herself and the world – and are also more likely to talk to you about settling down for the long-term.